Even if you spend a lot of time with your spouse, you may not have quality communication, and this is a big problem for many couples. If you feel like you and your spouse are not communicating well at all and are arguing more often, you may want to learn ways to improve this crucial aspect of your marriage. Here are three good tips to help you achieve this.
One reason couples experience communication issues is due to how conversations make the spouses feel. If you feel like your spouse attacks you each time you talk, you may learn to avoid talking to him or her, and your spouse may feel the same way.
If you want to talk to your spouse about something, talk from your own perspective and speak in terms of how you feel. This is a better way to communicate than coming at your spouse telling him or her that they did something wrong and that you are mad about it.
Spend more time listening
A second way to improve communication involves learning how to really listen. If your spouse does not talk to you a lot, it might be because he or she feels that you are never really listening. While listening might not appear like a good communication tool for you, it really is. When you really tune in not only to what your spouse is saying, but also to what he or she means and feels, you may slowly be able to regain that person's trust. This may encourage your spouse to approach you more often to talk about things.
Look for ways to solve issues when they are small
A small problem is much easier to fix than a large problem, but many couples fail to address problems when they are small. Because of this, the problems are left unresolved and can end up becoming big issues.
If you can relate to this, ask your spouse to talk about your issues. You can make a list together of problems that need to be addressed, and you can begin working through them one by one. As you begin solving these issues, you may notice that the communication in your marriage has greatly improved.
These tips may offer some guidance to you for communication issues, but a marriage counselor can help even more. For professional help, work with a relationship counselor like Sharon O'Connell, MA.